The Rising Beyond Podcast

Ep 216: The Problem with Using Children as Evidence in Family Court

Sybil Cummin Season 1 Episode 216

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0:00 | 25:25

This week's episode comes from a question I was asked by a group of family law attorneys.

"What behaviors can we look for in a child that tell us coercive control or domestic violence is happening?"

On the surface, it seems like a simple question. But the more I sat with it, the more I realized just how complicated, and potentially harmful, that question can become.

As a child therapist, I absolutely believe we need to understand children's experiences. Their voices matter.

But when our legal and child protection systems rely too heavily on children to provide the evidence, we can unintentionally place them in impossible loyalty binds, increase pressure on them, and even teach them that speaking up doesn't change anything.

In this episode, I process these tensions out loud and share why I believe we need to think differently about assessing coercive control.

We answer:

  • Why is it so difficult to use children's behaviors as proof of coercive control or domestic violence?
  • What should parents actually pay attention to when trying to understand their child's experience?
  • How can we support our children without turning them into evidence in a family court case?

If you've ever wondered why your child's behaviors seem confusing—or why professionals sometimes miss what's really happening—this conversation is for you.

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