The Rising Beyond Podcast

Ep 205: Children as Collateral Damage in Family Court | The Hidden Impact of Post-Separation Abuse

Sybil Cummin Season 1 Episode 205

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0:00 | 22:53

We don’t talk enough about the real collateral damage of broken systems.

And it’s not just survivors.

It’s our kids.

In this episode, I’m naming something that so many of you are living through but rarely see acknowledged out loud — the ways children are impacted when systems like family court, child protection, and even therapeutic settings fail to fully understand coercive control and domestic violence.

Because this isn’t just about what happened in the relationship.

It’s about what continues to happen after separation… when you’re doing everything “right,” and your child is still paying the price.

We’re talking about the full spectrum of collateral damage — from the quieter, everyday barriers (like not being able to access therapy due to joint decision-making) to the more extreme and devastating outcomes that can occur when abuse is minimized, misunderstood, or ignored.

This episode is honest. It’s heavy.
And it also holds space for hope — because that matters too.

In this episode, we cover:

  • How coercive control and post-separation abuse continue to impact kids
  • Why joint decision-making can block access to critical care
  • How children learn to stay silent in medical, legal, and therapeutic settings
  • The impact of misinformed professionals (including in therapy and court)
  • How fear, threats, and “provoke and record” dynamics affect children
  • The misuse of terms like “parental alienation” and its consequences
  • What happens when abuse (including sexual abuse) is not believed or substantiated
  • The emotional and psychological toll on protective parents and children

Peer-Reviewed Articles
https://www.law.georgetown.edu/georgetown-law-journal/wp-content/uploads/sites/26/2022/06/Meier_Denial-of-Family-Violence-in-Court.pdf

https://scholarship.law.gwu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=2809&context=faculty_publications

https://scholarship.law.gwu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1857&context=faculty_publications

https://barrygoldstein.net/component/tags/tag/the-saunders-study

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