The Rising Beyond Podcast
Are you ready to thrive as you are coming out of a toxic or abusive relationship? Join Sybil Cummin, a licensed professional counselor who has specialized in working with victims and survivors of domestic violence and narcissistic abuse for over a decade and runs a membership community for women on their healing journey. On this podcast you will finally feel understood and your experience will be validated as you learn tangible strategies to handle family court, coparent with your abuser, improve your connection with your children, and heal from the trauma of narcissistic abuse and domestic violence.
The Rising Beyond Podcast
Ep 141: The Shame Was Never Yours: Healing from Vicarious Shame After Abuse
Even though you’ve left the relationship, do you still feel embarrassed when you remember the way your ex treated others? Do you find yourself cringing at memories of their public outbursts, apologizing for their past behavior, or worrying that others judge you because of them?
This lingering sense of responsibility is called vicarious shame—when you feel embarrassed on behalf of someone else’s actions, even though you weren’t the one who did anything wrong.
In this episode, we explore:
✔️ Why vicarious shame lingers long after leaving an abuser
✔️ How abusers used it to manipulate and control you
✔️ The emotional toll of feeling responsible for someone else’s behavior
✔️ Steps to stop carrying their shame and fully step into your own healing
Vicarious shame is a tool abusers rely on to keep you second-guessing yourself, isolating from support, and feeling like you need to "fix" things that were never your fault. But the truth is: You are not responsible for their actions—then or now.
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