The Rising Beyond Podcast

Ep 85: Finding Peace: Overcoming Injustice in the Broken Family Court System

February 07, 2024 Sybil Cummin, MA, LPC, ACS Season 1 Episode 85
Ep 85: Finding Peace: Overcoming Injustice in the Broken Family Court System
The Rising Beyond Podcast
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The Rising Beyond Podcast
Ep 85: Finding Peace: Overcoming Injustice in the Broken Family Court System
Feb 07, 2024 Season 1 Episode 85
Sybil Cummin, MA, LPC, ACS

For those of you dealing with post separation abuse and the family court system this episode is for you.

How can you live your life accepting or stomaching the decisions made by a judge or evaluator that you know in your heart is not in the best interest of your children.

How do we just accept that our systems are unjust when it is negatively affecting our babies? 

Hopefully these strategies will be a place you can start.

  • Focusing on what is in your control vs what is not in your control.  In this system and situation there are SO many things outside of our control.  Focusing on the things we can control will give us a bigger bang for our buck than sharing focus with things outside of our control.
  • Ask yourself these questions:
    • Can you be at peace with your efforts to protect your children?
    • Can you be at peace with your effort to heal yourself so you can be the best parent for your children?
    • Focusing on effort vs focusing on outcome can be a helpful perspective.
  • Be present with your children when you are with them.  Give them the unconditional love that will carry them through all of the challenges they will experience.
  • Think back to positive times with your child(ren).  If you have had your children taken from you, this can be excruciating and healing all at the same time.  Children will have benefited from your attachment and love from the past even if they are not getting it directly now.  Remember how you have positively impacted them in the past.
  • Compartmentalization: Give yourself time where you can think about things, vent about things, do your research and then set up times where you put this fight away and put it on the shelf.  It’s important to not solely avoid it because avoidance will increase your trauma symptoms and it is not helpful to be in it all the time because then you cannot focus on anything else.  
  • Find your tribe.  Put as many safe people around you where you can share the struggle and allow you to hate the injustice and speak to it so that it doesn't constantly come out when you don't want it to.
  • Depending on where you are in the healing process, can you speak out

Register here for the parenting workshop! - https://mailchi.mp/risingbeyondpc/parenting

Please leave us a review! Reviews help the show get out to more people.

If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc

If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/

And if you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.

Enjoy some of our freebies!

Register Here for our June 5th Parenting Workshop - https://mailchi.mp/risingbeyondpc/parenting

Where to find more from Rising Beyond:
Rising Beyond Facebook
...

Show Notes

For those of you dealing with post separation abuse and the family court system this episode is for you.

How can you live your life accepting or stomaching the decisions made by a judge or evaluator that you know in your heart is not in the best interest of your children.

How do we just accept that our systems are unjust when it is negatively affecting our babies? 

Hopefully these strategies will be a place you can start.

  • Focusing on what is in your control vs what is not in your control.  In this system and situation there are SO many things outside of our control.  Focusing on the things we can control will give us a bigger bang for our buck than sharing focus with things outside of our control.
  • Ask yourself these questions:
    • Can you be at peace with your efforts to protect your children?
    • Can you be at peace with your effort to heal yourself so you can be the best parent for your children?
    • Focusing on effort vs focusing on outcome can be a helpful perspective.
  • Be present with your children when you are with them.  Give them the unconditional love that will carry them through all of the challenges they will experience.
  • Think back to positive times with your child(ren).  If you have had your children taken from you, this can be excruciating and healing all at the same time.  Children will have benefited from your attachment and love from the past even if they are not getting it directly now.  Remember how you have positively impacted them in the past.
  • Compartmentalization: Give yourself time where you can think about things, vent about things, do your research and then set up times where you put this fight away and put it on the shelf.  It’s important to not solely avoid it because avoidance will increase your trauma symptoms and it is not helpful to be in it all the time because then you cannot focus on anything else.  
  • Find your tribe.  Put as many safe people around you where you can share the struggle and allow you to hate the injustice and speak to it so that it doesn't constantly come out when you don't want it to.
  • Depending on where you are in the healing process, can you speak out

Register here for the parenting workshop! - https://mailchi.mp/risingbeyondpc/parenting

Please leave us a review! Reviews help the show get out to more people.

If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc

If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/

And if you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.

Enjoy some of our freebies!

Register Here for our June 5th Parenting Workshop - https://mailchi.mp/risingbeyondpc/parenting

Where to find more from Rising Beyond:
Rising Beyond Facebook
...